A Shining Light: Diem Brown

When I read all of your beautiful comments on how much I inspire others, it humbles me, and also gives me joy that I’m potentially helping someone feel positive and hopeful on a tough day. I have various sources of strength, but much of it has been found in my will to live. I want to share how much Diem Brown and her own will has inspired me.

For those of you who are not familiar with the story, Diem is a young woman who was diagnosed with cancer on three different occasions. Despite the fact that she faced a battle that many would consider grim, she continued to take her days one at a time, while always continuing to see her life as beautiful. Her blog offers an infectious positivity that can only bring light to anyone who may be reading it. To me she is the definition of everything a woman with cancer should strive to be. So brave, so strong, so humble, and yet so positive. No matter what type of cancer you may be given, there should never be a time you should give up hope or think that fighting for your life isn’t worth it. Of course there are the dark hours, that’s only healthy, but you cannot forget to see your life the gift that it is, no matter what bump in the road you may encounter.

One of my favorite quotes by her was, “Live as hard and as vigorously as you can.” It’s so short and sweet, yet so powerful and eye opening. Of the many lessons that cancer has a way of teaching you, I think this is one of the most valuable. Don’t let your life pass you by. If you’re faced with an uphill battle, take one step at a time. Don’t do the what-ifs, don’t try to think of the worst case scenarios, and don’t try to look too much at the big whole war. Just look at the smaller battle, and try to find that light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it’s seemingly dim, focus on that and the many amazing things that are in your life. Open your eyes. Don’t let your crisis take hold of your entire life. You’re still you and have so much living left to do.

Diem Brown passed away yesterday, but she did so in the most courageous way possible. She went out fighting while truly living her life to the fullest for every moment she was given. This woman will continue to be an inspiration to me, and I know to thousands of people with and without cancer. She was one of the true warriors; a lighthouse in the storm. Rest in peace beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story with the world.

Fight For Your Blessing

Any and every type of cancer sucks. There’s really no other way to put it. It interrupts all of your life plans and you have to make some big changes very quickly. On all of the many cancers out there, there are tons and tons of statistics on survival rates. A lot of these depend on your diagnosis, how far the cancer has progressed, and all those other little yet very crucial details. In my prognosis, some would say that I was lucky and some would say that I got the short end of the stick. I had a rare double mutation of the Philadelphia chromosome that threw us for an extra loop. I don’t really like to say whether my prognosis was “good” or not, because that’s not really helping anything or anyone. It is what it is and we have to deal with it and do what needs to be done. The only time that I ever thought, “I don’t know if I can do this,” was the Saturday morning after my abnormal blood results. I was sitting in the car with my Mom in the parking garage at Mass General. Right before we were about to go in and meet my doctor, I broke down into tears and said, “Mom I don’t think I can do this.” She said, “Lauren we have to, we have no choice, and whatever it is, we will get through this.” From that point on, I never questioned myself again. Have I had moments that I’ve been terrified? Absolutely, and I still do. Cancer is scary, but this is my life that we’re talking about. My beautiful life that has so much meaning, so much purpose, and so much life left in it. No matter what the diagnosis or prognosis, I would fight it, and still be fighting it the same way that I am now.

I know that this is a very controversial topic around the country, but after an inspirational and magical evening, I decided I needed to voice my own opinion. Last night I had the privilege of listening to two survivors at The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Light The Night Walk in Boston. One of the speakers was an 18-year survivor who was told he could never have kids, and then he brought his miracle baby boy on stage. The other young man was a survivor that at one point was told that he only had 10 days to live; he is now is a freshman at Harvard. And then I read these articles about a woman who moved to Oregon, and is choosing to end her life because she doesn’t want to go through the pain and suffering that would come from fighting her terminal prognosis. Honestly it makes me sick to my stomach. I know that blood cancers are completely and totally different than brain cancers. But at the end of the day cancer is cancer. Last year if I was told that I only had weeks to live, I can absolutely say with certainty that I would do everything in my power to fight for my life. Whether that is to go across the country and find the best doctor in the specialty, enroll in a clinical trial, or choose a different treatment option, I would absolutely do it. Each and every person is given a life on this earth. It is a blessing that so many take for granted. Some people have it easier than others. But so you have cancer, and it’s not looking good—that sucks, but don’t you want to help patients in the future with your same prognosis? If you die fighting, don’t you want your family to be able to have pride years down the road, and be able to say she did everything she could to be here with us? So many times I have read these incredible cancer survivor stories who beat their diseases against all odds. So it really just baffles me when I see some people’s mentalities of wanting to give up so easily, because it’s the easier more comfortable route? And what happens if there is a cancer breakthrough months down the road, and you could have received that treatment? How is your family supposed to cope with that?

My opinion on this matter has no motive in my political or religious opinions like it does for many people. Just from one cancer patient to another cancer patient. And I do support physician-assisted deaths, but only when you have tried everything else, and exhausted every possible option. I completely understand that. I’ve seen people in that place, and it’s scary and sad, but I would think that you could be at peace knowing you did everything you could to fight for your life. But to give the excuse of not wanting the extra pain and suffering— it just really irks me. If every cancer patient were like that, we would not be in the place of treatment that we are today. And yet we still have a long way to go. A lot of clinical trials fail, but the ones that succeed are the ones that are changing the future. In my own personal treatment, I’ve enrolled in every single clinical trial that’s been offered to me. I believe in research and I believe in finding better treatments and cures. And if I can be of assistance to these doctors and researchers, and help the people who are diagnosed after me, why would I not want to do that?

Just because there are statistics rooting against you, does not mean you should believe them or accept them. You need to find it in yourself to be strong, and believe that you deserve to live another day. Share your story; inspire other patients who are fighting your same tough battle. Don’t be selfish. If you don’t want to fight for yourself, fight for the people who love you and will be lost without you. Miracles happen every day, and if one is coming to you, you don’t want to miss out on that.